New Beginning
by sarcain
Summary: An AU where Veronica found the tapes right after Lily was murdered and changed everything.republished
1. Chapter 1

It is an AU about the first season. Imagine if Veronica found the tapes a couple days after Lily's death.

Oh, and I don't own any of theses characters.

CHAPTER 1

Lights flashed from the cameras, blinding Veronica and making her shield her face with her hand. The reporters shouted questions at her, but the noise jumbled into one big roar of sound that she flinched away from. She felt them crowding in on her, some even grasping at her clothes, desperate for her attention, for the story.

"That's enough!" her father's voice sliced though the din as he pushed through to her side. Some of the reporters seemed to back up but the persistent ones still shouted their questions. And with the relative silence of the crowd Veronica could now make out the words.

"_How long did you know about the affair?"_

"_How many other men did you two seduce?"_

"_What were you going to do with the tape?"_

"_How do you know that he killed her?"_

The questions pounded at her until she thought she would scream. It had only been a week since her best friend's body had been found; four days since she had found the tapes in Lily's grate; an hour since Aaron Echolls was officially charged with murder. Her life was in shreds around her feet and she had no one to turn to for support.

Her parents were there, but not.

Mom was drunk more often than not, with Dad following after her trying to clean up the mess. And the rest of the time he was busy at work. She understood though. He was the sheriff in a county with a high profile murder; of course he was busy.

She had stopped depending on her mother a long time ago.

The missing part was her friends. Just a month ago Veronica would have bet that they would stick together through anything. But then Duncan had cut her out of his life. And Logan had blamed her for his breakup with Lily. And now Lily was dead.

The Kane's were dealing with their grief, and now anger, in solitude. The only public display they made was right after Veronica's discovery and Aaron's subsequent arrest. Jake Kane had gone on record to condemn Aaron's behaviour and express his belief that it had been Aaron who had killed Lily. It had been a highly emotional speech, leaving few dry-eyed and many out for Aaron's blood.

It wasn't a secret that Jake Kane was the beloved billionaire of Neptune. Most of the rich people here were rich _because_ of him. Loyalty to him was transferred easily to loyalty to his little girl. She was far from an angel, but the only ones willing to say that in this town were the reporters.

"You heard the Sheriff. Move it!" another voice cut through the questions and Veronica's thoughts. She looked up to her other side and into Deputy Lamb's face. His face was set into unsmiling lines and his eyes were staring at the reporters like he could make them vanish with thought alone. The flexing of muscles under his snug uniform told her that he was prepared to use force if that didn't work. Reaching out with her hand, she took hold of his arm. She didn't keep eye contact, but pushed forward towards the car waiting just a few feet away. Keith and Don stayed by her sides, effectively becoming a barrier against the tide of people pushing to get a piece of her; a piece of the girl who had solved Lily Kane's murder in two days.

Logan couldn't help but watch the spectacle.

Every channel was showing a variation of the same thing; Veronica Mars rushing from the Sheriff's department towards a waiting patrol car. Her long, pale blond hair was held back from her face with a scrunchie at her nape, leaving her unpainted face revealed for the cameras. Her hand acted as a barrier, but it did little to shield him from her tangible innocence. Her large eyes were dark with her grief and glossed over with the threat of tears. Her small bow's mouth was drawn into a tight line that spoke of her anxiety.

But the questions being thrown at her didn't mesh with the image. The reporters seemed to look at her as some kind of co-conspirator that worked with Lily to seduce men. They acted as though the murder was her fault somehow; her and Lily's.

Logan's stomach twisted and roiled in disgust at the thought. His guilt was a hard knot of pain in his gut, his grief a burning behind the eyes. Burning from the tears he didn't let himself shed. He had wept like a baby when he had first heard the news; that the love of his life had been killed. But not now; not now that he knew it was his fault.

He had brought Lily into contact with the monster that was his father. If it wasn't for their relationship, Lily would be alive right now. And Veronica, sweet little Veronica, wouldn't be the pale ghost he saw on TV. Her eyes, finally making fleeting contact with the camera, wouldn't mirror the shattered pain of his own.

"I'm sorry" Logan whispered brokenly to the image of his once friend. Tears finally spilled from his eyes, burning tracks down his cheeks. He could cry after all then; if not for Lily, then for Veronica.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

It was her first day back at school since Lily's death. It had been a couple of weeks and her parents had decided that it was time for her to go back. She didn't feel ready; didn't think she ever would be. How could she go to this building alone? Alone now when she had always had Lily. Since before high school they had been best friends, and the result was that she didn't know how to survive on her own.

It would be different if the roles were reversed. Lily would have been fine by herself; she had never really needed Veronica the way Veronica needed her. In a room full of people Lily Kane could make everyone her best friend. It was only because of luck that she had set her eyes on Veronica; Veronica's good luck.

Tears gathered in her eyes as her father pulled up to the school. It still looked the same. And it hurt all that much more because it would never be the same again.

"Do you want me to come in Hun?" Keith asked gently, noticing her hesitation. Veronica shook her head and undid her seatbelt without looking at him. She knew that if he saw her crying that he would bring her back home. And while a part of her wanted just that, she knew that if she didn't go in now she never would.

"See you tonight dad" she mumbled at him as she opened the door and hurriedly got out. When she shut the door she couldn't avoid eye contact and knew that he saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. So she tried to give him a smile and went off to join the throng of students heading towards the entrance.

She couldnt have known that it was that weak little smile that almost had Keith jumping out of the patrol car to snatch her up. It was so heart-breaking that he wanted to drive away from the school and never let her go back. He and Leanne had argued about it for the last few days and she had insisted that Veronica get back to her life. Keith knew how overprotective he could get, so he listened to his wife.

At least she was sober during their discussions.

* * *

Logan didn't let himself hesitate.

As soon as he pulled into his parking spot, he nimbly jumped from his bright yellow X-Terra and moved towards the school. He walked with his usual confident swagger and ignored the blatant stares people were shooting him with.

He knew that any sign of weakness would be his downfall.

For most of the time he had gone to Neptune High, Logan Echolls had generally been the most popular and powerful boy around. He sat at the best table, had the hottest girl, and the coolest friends. His parents bought him everything he wanted, and were considered awe-worthy by most of the student body. He was the guy everyone wished they were. It had given him an edge over everyone else and had let him do whatever he wanted without doubting that he would have the full support of his 'fans'.

But now that had all changed. He had lost everything, and the only way to escape the feeding frenzy waiting to attack was to keep cool. If he looked in control then he would be in control. People were so used to treating him with reverence that they would keep doing it if he acted like it was what he deserved.

He couldn't let anyone know that he was a huge ball of nerves as he walked up to his locker. They wouldn't hear apprehension in his voice when he greeted them or desperation when he acted as if everything was normal.

Then he saw Veronica.

* * *

Meg was the first one to spot her.

She made her way through the crowd of students and hugged her arm around Veronica's shoulders. It was a silent offer of support that Veronica grabbed at. She looked up with a watery smile at Meg, taking a deep breath and walking into the school.

By the time they had made it to her locker people had started noticing she was there. Pats of commiseration were given and worried looks passed between the individuals and Meg. Veronica felt as if the school had opened their hearts to her, like they were letting her know that she wasn't alone.

Then she saw Logan.

Time seemed to stand still as their eyes met for the first time in two and a half weeks. The crowd quieted as if aware of the undercurrents of emotions seething behind the two blank faces.

"He shouldn't be here" a voice was suddenly heard from the crowd, breaking the silence. People were suddenly muttering their agreement and giving Logan accusing looks. Veronica could almost feel it as people shifted to protect her from the murderer's son.

But she didn't look away from his eyes.

She had known Logan for a long time; long enough to know that his emotions showed through his eyes. And right now what she could see was a mixture of grief, acceptance and guilt. Like he agreed with what they were saying; that it _was_ his fault.

Without thinking Veronica reached out and took Logan's hand.

The crowd quieted again and Logan looked down at their now joined hands with confusion. But he didn't try to pull away. Veronica felt a tiny bud of hope blossom in her heart. Maybe she hadn't lost all of her closest friends after all.

Logan felt his insides twist as he looked at the delicate hand holding on to his. Veronica's smooth white hand held on to him firmly, as if to stop him if he tried to pull away. But he wasn't going to pull away; not from the first comforting touch he had been given since Lily's death. Not from Veronica.

When he had looked into her eyes for the first shocking moment all he saw in her was grief. The pain of returning to a world without Lily in it. And he had noticed as the students surrounding them turned had subtly turned against him. Without her there they had accepted him as he was, returning his nods of greeting and keeping whatever dark thoughts they had to themselves. But with her haunted face right in front of them, the average person couldn't help but side with Veronica.

He wondered when he and Veronica had stopped being on each other's side. Then he looked once more into her eyes and realized that they never had. Sweet little Veronica, one of his best friends, looked back at him.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Lunchtime came up almost too fast for Veronica.

Her classes became a place to escape thought. After a couple of weeks off, she was able to completely immerse herself into getting up to date. No room for memories or grief, just work. She knew that her classmates spent more time giving her understanding looks than working, but she ignored them. Not since Logan had walked her silently to her first class, had she really paid attention to anyone other than her teachers.

Veronica's thoughts flashed back to him as she walked towards her usual table. They hadn't said anything to each other; not one word. Logan had just gripped her hand tighter and led her to what he had known was her first class. They had shared one more look before he released her hand and moved on in the hallway.

But she was alone now. And her steps were slowing with every inch she got closer to her table. Flashes of memory suddenly bombarded her mind; of Lily in happy times and sad. Veronica's steps stopped altogether and she realized that she would never be able to sit there again. It was too much like pretending Lily had never existed. Too much like getting on with her life without Lily.

* * *

Logan walked into the quad with searching eyes. He knew Veronica would be there and he wanted to catch her before she sat down at the regular table. When she had taken his hand in support earlier that day, he hadn't wanted to question his luck. It seemed like Veronica was so sweet that she didn't know that she should hate him.

And he needed that sweetness.

The only problem was that even with Veronica there, he wasn't sure he could sit at the old table. The memories were too sharp and painful to maintain any control over his emotions. And breaking down in front of the whole school probably wouldn't be in his best advantage. He spotted Veronica standing halfway to their table and he paused for a minute to look at her.

She was wearing a pink fuzzy sweater with a jean skirt that went to her knees. Everything about her, from the clips in her hair to the sedate shoes she wore, yelled innocent virgin. He knew that Lily probably had burned her ears with naughty tales, but he couldn't help but believe that anything even remotely off color was an invasion into her perfectly pure world. And before Lily's death he had enjoyed trying to blow that world to pieces.

He had told her dirty jokes almost daily and never missed the opportunity to make her blush about her relationship with Duncan. She was the only girl that he could flirt with and not have Lily blow it completely out of proportion.

'Probably because Veronica would never lower herself to be with someone like me' Logan thought to himself miserably. Girls like Veronica were meant for the Duncan's of the world; good upstanding citizens holding hands.

Pushing forward suddenly, Logan grabbed Veronicas hand and started pulling her to the closest empty table. He didnt look at her expression, but she went with him willingly.

He might never be an upstanding citizen, but he was holding Veronica's hand.

* * *

Veronica felt relief spread slowly through her, easing the nerves that had stopped her in her tracks. Logans grip was firm on her hand, the warmth of his skin seeming to warm her from the inside.

He understood how she felt.

That was the thought that pounded through her brain as she followed him over to the closest empty table. He had taken what had seemed like a huge issue and solved it in an instant; which was Logan all over. He was every inch an impulsive, hedonist; doing what felt right at the moment without worrying about what comes next.

Part of her had always liked that about him, even as the rest of her had disapproved. No one was completely immune to his charm, and she was no exception. He had always taken the time to joke with her, or tease her about Duncan. And Lily had never minded when Logan had flirted with Veronica, unlike all other girls. The way Lily saw no threat from Veronica, was just one of the many reasons that Veronica found it possible to be friends with Logan. She knew, just like Lily, that Logan would never be interested in her like that. Girls like Veronica didn't go out with guys like Logan, they went the traditional route with guys like Duncan; the high school sweethearts route.

But here she was; no high school sweetheart in sight and holding hands with the most inappropriate guy she knew. And oddly enough, she was comfortable with that.

Even if everyone else left her, she would be ok with Logan. He gave her the feeling of being close to Lily without all the pain. Logan was probably the only other person who knew Lily as well or loved her as much as Veronica; other then the Kanes of course. But they weren't exactly reaching out for her in their time of grief, so her and Logan were left with each other.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

The end came quicker then she had expected it to. By the time she had finished her last class, Veronica was glad that she had come back. There had been hard moments, but she had survived. And that was what life was going to be for the following months: surviving.

She was at her locker, replacing the books she wouldn't need to take home, when her cell started ringing. Fumbling a little to reach the front pocket of her bag, Veronica answered on the fifth ring.

"Hello?" she said as she glanced at the caller id display. "Mom?"

"Hi Veronica" her mother's voice slurred back at her. Veronica closed her eyes briefly as disappointment and love warred inside of her. She was drunk again, in the middle of the afternoon. It wasn't the first time, but for some reason Veronica had thought that today would be off limits for Leanne. Her mother was supposed to be picking her up and now Veronica was stranded; stranded in the school filled with painful memories.

"Hey Mom" Veronica said, forcing a chipper note into her voice. "I'm glad that you called. I'm going to be busy for a couple of hours after school, so I don't need a lift" It wasn't technically a lie. Veronica would be busy walking home. This was California and nothing was ever in walking distance, definitely not her middle-class home in relation to her upper-class high school.

"Oh?" Leanne said in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure" Veronica affirmed, saying goodbye and pressing end on her cell.

She continued to go through the motions of getting ready to leave, closing her locker and grabbing her bag off the floor. She walked with, what she hoped was confidence, out of the school. She had saved her mother from having to call Keith, which would have undoubtedly started another fight; and yet, on her way home, she had a few bad moments when she wondered if she was trying to save her mother or herself.

* * *

Logan let out a breath that he hadn't been aware of holding. The school day was finally finished and he wasn't sure if he could handle the rest of the week. He wasn't even completely convinced that it had been a good idea to go in today. Emotions had been pulling him in so many directions; grief, anger, guilt, nostalgia, comfort.

"Thank God for Veronica!" Logan muttered to himself as he settled into the driver's seat of his yellow X-Terra. He might have taken off if it hadn't been for her understanding eyes. She had managed to make him feel, if just for a few moments, like it wasn't his fault.

The rest of the school had picked up their cue from her; if not exactly giving a warm hug of comfort like they did for Veronica, they didn't hassle him either. Other than before first period, nobody had even mentioned his father in his hearing.

But he wasn't naive enough to think that because he didn't hear it, they weren't saying it. He was still the son of the man who murdered Lily Kane.

His mood was one of sombre introspection. Trying to untangle the mass of emotions he had felt that day was the only thing he had to do. No friends waiting to hang out with him, no family willing to show comfort and no school work interesting enough to him to provoke interest. The only other option was to go home and get drunk with his mother.

She was there all alone, drowning her sorrows in the bottom of her glass. That was how she always dealt with her husband. Aaron Echolls was a monster, and killing Lily wasn't the first sign of it. Every time that Aaron would get out his belt, Logan would get ready for the pain and his mother would leave them to it.

'Probably why I'm such a fuckup' Logan snorted out a disgusted laugh at his own thoughts. Blaming his parents for his mistakes was a little to trite for his liking.

A flash of pink caught Logan's attention and made him realize two things: without thinking he had been heading towards Veronica's house and Veronica herself was walking along the street.

* * *

Veronica saw his car pass by and smiled. She couldn't help the small involuntary movement. Every time she saw the large yellow SUV it reminded her of Logan's character; unapologetically desperate for attention.

Then she watched as he stopped and reversed to pull up beside her. The smile faded from her lips like it had never been as she thought of an excuse to why she was walking home instead of getting a lift. Logan leaned over to push open the passenger-side door and they made eye-contact.

"My mother's too drunk to give me a lift" she told him, in answer to his questioning look. Excuses had fled from her mind and she had found herself confiding to him what she had told no one before. "She's been like that a lot in the past few months".

Logan just looked at her for a couple of seconds, no emotions stirring on his face. Veronica felt her heart clench as she realized what she had said. After everything else, she was dumping her problems on his lap?! She felt like an inconsiderate idiot.

Then Logan moved back into his seat and looked out into the road. "My mom's been like that for years" he said simply, mirroring her confession with his own. Veronica felt tears prickle at the back of her eyes as she took Logans unspoken invitation and got into his SUV. Shutting the door behind her, she relaxed as he drove off.

She had no idea where he was taking her, but she knew that she would be safe with him. Veronica had always been confident about Logan in that respect, even before he had proven it to be true.

* * *

Logan drove without knowing where he was headed. All he knew was that he had recognized the resigned look in Veronica's eyes when she had told him about her mom. He knew what she had been silently going through. He had gone through the same thing when his mother had first started drinking a long time ago. The feeling like your mother was abandoning you to the fates when she drank, and then watching as she got drunk more and more often. It tore someone's heart out when they realized that their mother didn't love them as much as they had thought.

She needed him.

When you questioned your mother's love for you, the first thing you need to do is reaffirm your self-worth. In other words, prove to yourself that it is a lacking in your mother not you. Logan had been trying to do just that for a long time; he had never quite succeed, so knew the bitter taste of self-hate all too well. He didn't want that for Veronica. She deserved two loving and normal parents, not just one plus a drunk!

He wasn't sure what to say. All the typical ALANON clichés had never worked with him, and he had a feeling that they wouldn't work with Veronica. They were both too smart; always thinking of a way that it's their fault, not their mother's.

Reaching out with his right hand, Logan let it ease over her hair. He cupped the back of her head with his hand slightly, and then continued the long stroke to her neck, then shoulder. His touch was light and gentle, meant to comfort without words he didn't mean and she wouldn't believe.

"Logan?" Veronica's voice trembled from her lips. Logan glanced from the road to her face and saw that she was barely hanging on to her composure. Pulling over to the side of the road, Logan undid his seatbelt and gathered Veronica up in his arms.

"It's going to be okay" he murmured into her hair as she sobbed. He continued to whisper the comforting nonsense to her as she wept out all of her anguish. And he understood that she believed the words because he meant them.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

When Logan finally started to drive again, they seemed to naturally find themselves headed towards Dog Beach. It was never that crowded and it was a neutral territory for the both of them. Each had the same good memories of Lily here, and neither had to deal with their parents as long as they stayed.

"Let's stay here forever" Veronica said wistfully as they walked the same path they had taken during homecoming. She didn't look over at Logan, so she missed the surprised expression on his face. "No pressures, no family and no well-meaning friends" she continued, a half smile lighting up her face and dispelling some of the sadness there.

"Except for me right?" Logan asked her, only half joking.

"Except for you" Veronica agreed, her smile getting bigger. "And which would you be Logan; a pressure, family or a well-meaning friend?" she teased him.

Veronica, flirting with him; it was so opposite the norm that it startled him into laughing. He was about to flirt back when her cell phone rang. Giving her a wry smile, he watched as she answered.

"Hey dad" she said, her smile evident in the tone of her voice. After a small pause she laughed. "I was just talking about family pressures" she explained. "Oh, I'm with Logan. At dog beach". She sighed, the smile becoming one of annoyed patience. "We needed a break. YES! Logan!" she said again, her voice filled more with annoyance than patience this time around.

Logan couldn't help the smile at her words. It sounded like her father was having a hard time believing that they were friends. Wasn't too hard to imagine; he could barely believe it himself. The only thing that had brought them together before was their respective best friends; the Kanes. But those people had been ripped out of their lives violently, and now it was the lack that he and Veronica shared. He knew that it wouldn't last that long before she moved on, but he wouldn't waste what time that he did have.

"I won't be home for supper" Veronica continued, catching Logan's attention once more to the one-sided conversation. His chest tightened as he looked on. He could imagine that the Sheriff Mars was not pleased about who Veronica was keeping company with, but she was staying with him. It wasn't often that Veronica went against her dad, and he was flattered that she would do it for him. He still had a smile on his face when she pressed end on her cell.

"So where are you taking me for supper?" he asked her.

* * *

Veronica was relaxed for the first time in weeks, maybe months. Logan had a gift for distracting people from the problems in their life, and was Veronica was using him shamelessly. A small twinge of guilt made her smile flicker as they sat at the scarred picnic tables that the roadside cantina used for seating. She had brought Logan here as a joke after he had insisted that she was responsible for feeding him. She had half thought that he would have sniffed at the basic food they served in the PCH, but he had sat down comfortably and waited for her to feed him. Every moment after sitting down with the tacos and fries had been filled with laughs.

It had been a nice change from crying.

They talked about everything and nothing at the same time, avoiding sensitive topics like family and friends. It boomeranged from the idiotic comedy of Dick Casablancas, a fellow 09er friend of Logan's, to classic movies and literature. They discovered things in common that neither would have guessed; like love of 'The big Lebowsky' and hatred of 'The Wizard of Oz'.

"It was just a little too much like an Acid trip for me" Logan continued with a shake of the head. "Like Alice in Wonderland without the freaky cat" Veronica giggled at the image of Logan watching 'Alice in Wonderland'.

"I thought that it was all the midgets" Veronica teased, enjoying it as Logan gave an exaggerated shudder for her benefit. He was about to respond when a camera flashed. Jumping up, Logan found the source in an instant. It was easy when the flash kept going off. The guy was still capturing footage. Logan had been dealing with the paparazzi all his life, yet when it came to Veronica he couldn't contain his rage. He started toward the reporter, murder in his eyes.

"Logan, no" Veronica told him gently, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him to a stop. She was just a tiny little thing, so he mostly let her stop him. It was for the best anyway; Aaron Echolls' son shouldn't be caught being violent, it would just confirm people's thoughts of him.

"What do you want to know?" Veronica asked the young man partially hidden by the side of the cantina. He must have seen them and sidled up on the road to get into position for the pictures. Logan looked down at her as if she was crazy, but she pushed forward to make eye-contact with man.

The camera man himself looked stunned, but apparently wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth, because he started asking questions. And ignoring Logan's negative comments, she answered them.

An hour later, when Logan was driving her home, he told her again that she had made a mistake. "He'll twist your words to make you look bad. They always do" he told her bitterly. Veronica glanced over at the boy she had always seen as care-free, and altered her perception of him. She reached over to put her hand over his on the stick shift.

"The just would have made something up to go with the pictures anyway" Veronica told him in a voice as gentle and comforting as her touch was. Logan met her eyes for a few seconds before looking back out at the road. "I'm sorry that I upset you" she whispered, tears in her eyes at the thought. After everything that Logan had done that day to help her through, it hurt to realize that she was too selfish to even consider him for a few seconds.

The only answer that Logan gave her was a sigh as he turned his hand to grasp hers. Glancing at him once more Veronica saw that he had a smile on his face. The tears cleared from her eyes. Crying wouldn't make it up to Logan; she would just have to be more careful next time. Luckily enough for her, Logan seemed to be in a forgiving mood. He returned to the light conversation that they had been having before the interruption.

They both had smiles on their faces for the rest of the drive.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Veronica woke up the next morning without wanting to crawl back under the covers to hide. She wasn't completely ok with the thought of going back to school today, but it was better now that she knew she wouldn't be alone. She would get Logan to sit at their new table again at lunch and deal with the rest of the day the same way she had yesterday: by drowning in work.

* * *

Logan felt like smothering himself with his pillow when his alarm went off. He had been having a sexy dream, and even though he couldn't remember the details, he knew that it had felt better than his lonely bed did. Added to that irritation was the knowledge that he would have to suffer through another day at school. The only thing he was looking forward to was sitting with Veronica at lunch. He already had plans to change the table they had sat at yesterday into being theirs. Then no one else would sit there without permission.

At least he hoped it would work like that. He still wasn't sure about his status in the eyes of the student body. This would be the first test. He was nervous about it because he knew that if someone challenged him he would have no way to fight back. Not without upsetting Veronica. And that was the last thing he wanted to do. He was starting to understand that if he won back his position in school, it wouldn't mean much if he didn't have Veronica there to enjoy it with him.

He was still thinking of her when he went down for breakfast. His mother wasn't up yet, but the tabloids she bought every day were waiting for her on the table. Logan glanced over and froze when he saw the headline.

* * *

When Keith dropped her off today it was a lot easier for both of them. Veronica wasn't filled with dread and Keith's worry had gone down a few notches. While Logan might not be Keith's ideal friend for Veronica, it was worth a little worry to see some of the strain leave his daughter's face.

"Love you dad" she said as she kissed his cheek and bounded out of the car and headed towards the school. Keith waited a moment, watching as a few of her fellow students greeted her. He drove away feeling like his daughter was going to fine after all was said and done.

Then he walked into the station and came face to face with Don with a tabloid crushed in his grip.

-------------------

Veronica felt her eyes search the halls for a familiar face, but couldn't stop herself. They shared their first class today and she couldn't wait to see him. She didnt question her feelings, or the strange looks people were giving her. All that she knew was that Logan managed to make her happy during the most difficult time of her life.

"Veronica!" Meg called from down the hall. Veronica looked over, but by the time she had opened her mouth to say hello, Meg was already herding her into the closest bathroom. "We have to talk" Meg said urgently, checking to make sure the stalls were empty at the same time.

"Ok" Veronica said warily, giving Meg a confused look. And she was going to stay confused for a while.

"Have you seen it yet?"

"Seen what?"

"The news!"

"What news?

"Your news!!"

"I have news?"

"YES!!!" Meg finished, her voice having climbed to a yell during their volley of words.

"No, I haven't heard or seen my news" Veronica answered carefully, wondering if the strain had made the normally calm Meg snap.

"Here!" Meg thrust a tabloid paper that Veronica hadn't been aware she was holding, into Veronica's hands. "What were you thinking?" she asked before Veronica even had a chance to look.

But everything cleared up as soon as she did. The camera guy from last night had apparently rushed his story to the presses in time to print a huge picture on the front page of a major daily tabloid. The picture showed Veronica and Logan sitting close to each other, smiling into each other's eyes. The headline above it read 'AARON ECHOLLS' SON AND HIS ACCUSER FIND COMFORT IN OLD FRIENDSHIP'. And underneath the picture they had written in a smaller font that an exclusive interview with Veronica Mars was on pg. 36.

"Oh my God!" Veronica said in growing horror as she stared at the paper. She saw Meg nodding her head as it became obvious that Veronica was starting to understand. "Logan is going to be so upset" she blurted out, making Meg's eyes narrow. It didn't go unnoticed that Veronica's first thought was Logan's feelings and not her own.

Just what exactly was going on between these two?

* * *

Jake Kane couldn't believe it. Not a month after Lily dies and the son of her murderer is hitting on Lily's best friend?!

Rage started to simmer behind Jake's usual calm facade. The Echolls family had taken the life of his first child and he wasn't about to let them touch the life of the only daughter he had left.

Just because he hadn't gotten the blood tests done yet, didn't mean that Jake doubted Veronica was his daughter. When Leanne had told him about her suspicions a few months ago, he had been horrified. The worst thing wasn't even that his affair with his old flame would be exposed, but that his only son had been dating his own half-sister for almost a year now.

He had talked to Celeste first of course. Knowing what her reaction would be, but not caring. The bitch had tricked him into a marriage years ago, and he figured her knowing that his love for Leanne hadn't dissipated as soon as the vows had been said, was the least she deserved. But Celeste had been as predictable as ever, first telling Duncan, than demanding blood tests be done. And because he had agreed with both decisions, Jake hadn't argued.

Veronica and Duncan broke up and Jake got his lead security man to get him a DNA sample of Veronica. They had just about to send a few strands of her hair along with his, when Lily had died. Things had become disrupted and he had forgotten to mail the all-important package.

But now there was no more putting it off. He had to have proof of their blood match before Jake could tell Veronica or Keith Mars the truth. He certainly wasn't planning on going with Leanne's demands for money. She apparently didn't want to continue being the Sheriff's wife and wanted enough to get her and Veronica set up in a whole new city. Celeste had wanted him to do just that, but that wasn't even an option now.

But first things first; he had to make Veronica understand that associating with Logan was a bad idea. He took out his cell and looked through the contacts list. He had programmed Veronica's number into it a long time ago; sometimes getting a hold of Veronica had meant getting a hold of Lily. He brought her cell number up and pressed call.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Veronica had a hard time deciding if she should go to class or not. In one way it might be humiliating now that she knew what everyone had been staring at her for; but in another way she didn't want anyone to think that she was ashamed of her friendship with Logan.

She was deciding to go to class just as her cell phone rang.

"Hello?" she said, not recognizing the number on caller display.

"Veronica?" a familiar voice asked, making her gasp in shock. The last time she had heard that voice it had been on TV. She was suddenly nervous and unsure of herself. If she said something wrong right now she would regret it for the rest of her life.

"Mr. Kane?"

* * *

Logan didn't go into school.

After reading the paper from back to front, he was hardly able to move back to his room, let alone deal with whatever would happen at school. He was sure that the first time he saw Veronica she would shy away from him.

He wasn't so sure that he would survive it.

The tabloid had used Veronica's interview in a way that Logan had never imagined; honestly. All her quotes were accurate, with nothing read into her words that weren't there. It simply said that they had both lost someone they loved and were helping each other through their grief. And that Veronica didn't hold Logan accountable for his father's actions. All in all, they played her as what she was: an innocent and giving young woman who was trying to give and take comfort in her time of need.

What they implied of Logan was another story altogether.

He hadn't said anything, but that hadn't stopped the reporter from describing the _looks_ Logan had gave him. Apparently he 'looked as murderous as his father' and 'followed in his father's footsteps' to take advantage of a young impressionable girl.

As he read the article he felt icicles form throughout his entire body. Maybe the guy was right. He _had_ wanted to beat the crap out of him, and he _was_ holding on to Veronica like a lifeline. When he told Veronica not to say anything to the reporter, _had_ he been 'hiding something'?

He certainly wasn't trying to scheme his father out of a conviction, but was he trying something else? Like using Veronica's grief to tie her to him because he didn't want to be alone.

He just couldn't face her without knowing the answers to his own questions. He didn't want her to see his uncertainty and take it for guilt. Logan wasn't going to push her away until he was sure that it was best for Veronica if he did.

* * *

She knew that people had noticed her leaving, just like she knew what they would think; she was hiding her embarrassment over being duped. But she didn't care right now. The Kanes were finally opening up their castle gate and letting her in. She wasn't about to question the timing, she was just going. The car was waiting for her at the entrance to the school and she got in.

That fateful day when Veronica had found the tapes hadn't really counted. She had sneaked in with the security code Lily had given her and had sat crying silently in Lily's room. It had only been as she was leaving that Veronica thought to check the grate.

Lily had always kept her most secret things there. And Veronica thought that it would be what Lily for those things to stay secret. But then she had found the tapes and keeping it secret was no longer an option.

Veronica had left the house without anyone noticing her and went directly to where her mother's car was parked a few streets away. Then it had been a long drive to the Sheriff's department and her father's office. Through it all she hadn't seen one of the Kanes, other than on TV, since her father had been called on to the scene of Lily's murder. When Veronica had looked into Duncan's eyes, she hadn't seen anything that looked like the boy she used to know, and her impressions of Celeste and Jake that night were lost in the shock of seeing her best friend dead.

Nerves spiked as the car pulled into the large driveway of the Kane residence. The memories here had always been good, but she wasn't sure if what she had seen in the last weeks had ruined that or not.

As she walked though the foyer with Jake Kane five minutes later, revulsion and horror filled her chest and she had her answer. She would never come back here again.

Jake led Veronica towards his study with an apprehension he wasn't used to feeling in the petit girl's presence. Even after he had talked with Leanne, he had never really thought about Veronica as someone who would harm him or his family. She was too good, and so close to both of his children that Jake had assumed that it would translate into loyalty.

He wasn't so sure anymore.

If her loyalty to Logan was stronger, then there would be nothing he could say to change her mind about him. But Veronica staying away from Logan was important. He didn't want any more scandal then necessary when it came out that she was his daughter. And it would come out.

He had sent off the blood samples as soon as he had gotten off the phone with Veronica and had put a rush on it. He would have the results in a week and another daughter soon after that.

"Please have a seat" he told her as he went around his desk to sit. Veronica did as he asked and folded her hands in her lap nervously as she waited for him to go on. Jake noticed her nerves and smiled sadly. "There was a time that you were as comfortable with me as Lily was" he told with regret evident in her voice.

Veronica finally made eye contact with him, but the expression in her eyes was of surprise. She didn't seem to agree with him. Jake had to wonder to himself if the connection he had felt between them had ever really been there, or if he had created it after Lily's death. He wouldn't let himself continue too far down that line of thought. Veronica was his daughter and if they didn't already have a connection, they soon would.

"You're probably wondering why I asked you to come over here, Veronica" he continued, ignoring his own previous statement. "I know how close you and Lily were, and I didn't want to think that you felt cut off from her family" he paused to try and get an idea of what Veronica thought of that. Other than an expecting look, her expression didn't give anything away. "The sheriff's department is finished their investigation of Lily's room and people are allowed back in. I wanted you to have a chance to pick something of hers to keep"

Veronica's expression was suddenly very easy to read; grateful eagerness was in every line of her face. Jake thought briefly about how Celeste would react when Veronica took a piece of Lily's jewellery and smiled. "Anything you want, Veronica"

"Really?" she asked, making Jake think that she was more like Lily than he had thought.

"Anything" he told her again, discovering that he was just as indulgent towards Veronica as he was to Lily.

Veronica couldn't believe it. She was standing in Lily's room with Jake Kane and he was telling her to take anything she wanted. And Veronica knew exactly what that would be.

She went to Lily's bureau and picked up her jewellery case. Opening it up, Veronica could see the various trinkets and expensive gems that Lily had collected during her short life. Reaching inside, Veronica lifted the entire tray out of the small box, revealing a hidden compartment underneath.

She could feel Jake shift behind her in surprise but she continued without turning. He may be in a strangely giving and sentimental mood, but she wasn't going to bet on him staying that way. Especially not after he saw what she picked.

"I want this" Veronica said, not even aware that her voice came out as a whisper. She turned to show Jake what she had picked and heard him gasp in surprise.

It was a small pencil sketch of Lily's face. Made up of only quickly drawn lines and thumb-blurred shadows, it was made by an artist in France during the Kane's vacation there last year. The artist had used the drawing to try and convince Lily to sleep with him. It was sensual while still being innocent and the most beautiful depiction of Lily that there was.

"When Lily showed this to me, she said it was a picture of how she wanted to look" Veronica told Jake in a tender voice. "She didn't believe me when I told her that she always looked like this".

"What are you doing here?" Celeste's voice interrupted Jake's answer. Her voice was venomous and lashed at Veronica like a whip.

"Jake said..."

"Ohhh, _Jake_ said" Celeste snapped back at her, emphasizing Veronica's use of Jake's first name. "Are you such good friends now?" she asked mockingly.

"Celeste" Jake said in a warning tone, clearly not pleased to see his wife. Veronica felt like she was intruding on a personal argument and realized for the second time that she never wanted to return to this place. After getting this picture of Lily, all that would be left here would be bitterness.

"I'm going to just leave" Veronica said quickly, not wanting to make Celeste upset. The two of them had never really gotten along, but Celeste was a mother grieving for the loss of her child and Veronica felt for her.

"No!" Jake said, making both women look at him. His voice had been urgent and Veronica had the sinking feeling like he was going to take the drawing away from her.

"Yes Veronica, please stay and paw through Lily's jewellery some more" Celeste said in a falsely pleasant voice, her eyes stabbing into Jake's like daggers. "I'm sure you haven't stolen everything you want yet."

"Stolen?" Veronica repeated, not understanding. Did Celeste really think that she was just here to take some of Lily's expensive jewels?! She would never even think of doing that. The only necklace that Veronica wanted in memory of Lily was the one Lily had given her for her last birthday.

"I told Veronica to take what she wanted" Jake said tonelessly, staring down his wife. "She's entitled".

"She's entitled!" Celeste repeated. "Entitled!!" Her voice rose to the point of hysteria and Veronica took a step back from her. She had never seen the icy woman lose her cool and was starting to become nervous. "Why, because she was Lily's best friend, or because she was her sister?!" Celeste spat out.

Jake's face paled and his arm twitched, making Veronica think that he had wanted to slap her. Celeste, herself was looking triumphant, her eyes gleaming evilly as she turned back to Veronica.

"Did you know that Veronica?" she asked in what sounded like a mildly interested voice. "Did you know that your mother was a whore who slept with my husband?" Veronica flinched inwardly from the words, but couldn't move. "Did you know that you were dating your brother for almost a year?" A sob came from Veronica's chest as everything started to sink in. "Your mother knew" Celeste finished, her smile still in place, but the hatred behind it clear. Just like her dislike of Veronica always had been.

And now Veronica understood it.

She turned to look at Jake and saw the truth in his eyes. A wave of nausea went through her so strongly that she almost didn't make it to the bathroom. She was wracked with convulsive vomiting for what seemed like hours, but in reality were only minutes.

When she pulled herself together and looked up she saw Duncan in the doorway of the bathroom, staring at her. She wiped her hand across her mouth and got up, wanting to rinse her mouth but not wanting to do it while he watched.

"It doesn't get any better" he told her in a dead voice. It was the first time he had spoken to her a long time. And now Veronica knew why.

She pushed passed him and went back to Lily's room where Jake was waiting. Celeste was gone, but veronica didn't care. She went to where she had dropped Lily's picture and picked it up. Moving back towards the doorway she stopped.

"Was there a blood test?" she asked, her voice as dead to her ears as Duncan's was.

"I'll have the results by the end of the week" he answered, regret and longing clear in his voice.

"Phone my cell as soon as you know" she told him as she walked out of the room. She kept walking until she was clear of the house and down the road. Taking out her cell phone she dialed her home number.

"Hey mom" she said with an even inflection. "I need you to pick me up".


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

The ride home was a silent one.

Veronica could tell her mother hadn't had anything to drink yet, because she wasn't looking happy. Or maybe she was unhappy because she knew where Veronica had been. But neither of them talked about it. There was a silent agreement that they would wait until they got home.

When they did pull into the drive, Veronica got straight out of the car and walked to her room. Opening up her favorite frame, she took out the picture of her and her parents and replaced it with the sketch of Lily. That done, she walked back to the living room where her mother was waiting.

"Am I Jake Kane's daughter?" she asked bluntly.

Leanne looked at her as if she had slapped her face. "He was never suppose to tell you" she told Veronica, trying to make it all Jake's fault.

"Is it true?" Veronica asked again, her yes burning into her mother's.

"I don't know" Leanne finally answered truthfully, responding to the commanding look in Veronica's eyes.

Veronica swallowed back another wave of nausea and took a step back from the woman she had always loved blindly. Leanne might not be sure about who Veronica's father was, but Veronica was sure about some truths.

"Celeste was right" Veronica said with disgust. "You are a whore"

"Veronica!" Leanne said with shock as she reached out a hand for her.

"Don't touch me!" Veronica yelled in a panic. She moved back as far as she could and looked at Leanne with clear eyes. "I never want you to touch me again"

"You don't understand" Leanne pleaded.

"Do you love Keith?" Veronica asked suddenly. She purposely used Keith's name, not wanting her mother to think she was talking about Jake when she said dad. The need for the distinction made the anger flare up inside of her. Before she could ever forgive her mother, she needed to know if she had ever cared for the man who had always been a father to Veronica. "Have you ever?"

"No" Leanne admitted honestly. "He never treated me right, never gave me what I deserved; not like Jake would have" Leanne spoke faster and with a new resolve. She seemed to think that she could convince Veronica that everything was Keith's fault.

"He wouldn't let you peacefully drink yourself into a stupor" Veronica hissed, hating her mother suddenly for being so weak. Leanne shook her head in denial. "Like yesterday when you left me stranded on my first day back at school"

"No. You said...you said you had a lift" Leanne stuttered. "Logan brought you home"

"Logan stopped to pick me up when he saw me walking home" Veronica corrected mercilessly. "We hung out because he knows what it's like to have a drunk for a mother!"

"You have to understand Veronica" Leanne said desperately. "I was so happy when I was your age. I was just like you..."

"No!" Veronica cut her off with a harsh shake of the head. "You are nothing like me. And I'm nothing like you"

Veronica turned on her heel and headed towards the front door. She went to pull it open and noticed that it already was open a crack. Putting her fingers inside the small space, Veronica pulled gently, seeing her father standing like a statue on the other side of the door.

"Daddy?" Veronica asked in a lost voice. She knew that her questioning tone of voice was more then to ask how much he had heard, but also to get a sense of reassurance that he was still, in fact, her daddy.

"Go wait in the car honey" Keith said in a gentle voice, his eyes betraying his heartbreaking sadness. Veronica wanted to hold him close to her and never let him go, but she did what he said, and left.

As she walked to the car, the tears started to stream down her face. Just yesterday, she had doubted that she could feel any worse than after Lily died. But now she knew better.

As she settled into the passenger seat of the squad car, Veronica did the only thing she could think of that would make her feel better. She called Logan.

* * *

Logan stared up at his ceiling with no expression on his face.

He had decided not to push his luck by going to school and had instead gone back up to bed. After about an hour, depression had sunk into him. His first class had been one that he shared with Veronica. Therefore, by now she knew he wasn't there and she hadn't called him.

For a while, he had told himself that she might not have gone in herself; that she was waiting to call at the time he would be getting out of class. But that time came and went with no Veronica.

He even considered that she was waiting for him to call her. It was only when he got a busy signal that he gave up. She was obviously too busy to worry about him. He wasn't really surprised. Sooner or later everyone stopped caring.

He didn't blink when his cell rang, just rolled over and answered numbly.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Half an hour after sitting in her father's squad car, Veronica watched Logan pull up behind her. She watched dispassionately as he jumped out from the passenger seat and jogged quickly to her door. Opening it, he crouched within the space created and cupped her face.

"I'm here now" he told her simply, and the numbness that had spread through her since seeing her father on the other side of her front door, seeped away. She found herself sobbing into his arms, weeping out all of her betrayal and hurt. "I'll always be here" he whispered into her hair, tightening his hold on her.

Neither of them knew how long they stayed like that. Logan felt his legs cramp and ignored the pain, it didn't compare to the pain that Veronica was feeling right now. He wasn't completely sure what was going on, but he knew that Sheriff Mars was in there with Leanne. That was all he needed to know. It was easy for things to get messy when you were dealing with a drunk.

Veronica shifted and Logan took the opportunity to reach into the car and pull her out. She was so small that he hardly felt her weight as he cradled her in his arms. She nestled her head trustingly in his neck and let him carry her to his X-Terra. He sat on the passenger's side and settled her on his lap. She was still crying, but they were both more comfortable.

Keith wasn't too long after that, walking out of the house and directly to Logan and Veronica. He looked like shit, but Logan had kind of figured on that. He had also kind of figured on the worried frown that Keith shot his way.

"How is she?" Keith asked him as he neared the open door. Veronica shifted when she heard her father's voice, but Logan just cradled her closer.

"I don't know" he answered honestly.

Keith reached out and let his fingers touch Veronica's hair. "Neither do I" he muttered.

"Do you have somewhere to stay?" Logan asked. "I have lots of spare room at my place"

"I appreciate that Logan" Keith said as he rubbed a hand down his face. "But I think you understand why that would be a bad idea"

"Murderer's son" Logan said bitterly.

"Hey" Keith said, making eye contact. "I'm going to get two rooms at the Camelot for the night; can you take Veronica for a couple of hours while I set it up?"

Logan nodded and rested his chin for a second on Veronica's head. She was the most precious thing in Keith's life, and he was trusting Logan with her. That took away any sting from them not being able to stay at his house; which really was understandable.

Keith reached out his hand again, this time to grip Logan's shoulder in thanks.

Veronica gazed out at the water blindly. Logan had taken her back to Dog Beach, remembering what she had said the last time that they had come here. He wanted her to have that same peace. This time he had laid down a blanket and settled her next to him. She leaned into him, his arm around her shoulders.

"Jake Kane might be my biological father" she said so quietly that he doubted his own ears. He looked down at her in question. "Which would mean that my mother is a cheater and my only serious boyfriend was my brother" she continued, her voice hoarse from crying.

Logan sat there shocked silent. Out of everything he had thought the problem was, this wasn't even close. For this to even be a possibility, Leanne would have always known; she would have known that Veronica was dating her half-brother.

A sharp expletive escaped his lips as he realized the ramifications of this getting out. Keith would be humiliated, Leanne made out as a whore, Veronica and Duncan as incestuous lovers. Then another thought hit him.

"Duncan knows" It wasn't a question.

Veronica let out a small harsh laugh. "That's why he broke up with me" she agreed. "Not really a comfort"

"Wait a minute, you said might, right?" Logan asked, grasping for anything that would stop this atrocity from being true.

"My mom isn't sure"

"Then you shouldn't jump to any conclusions" Logan told her, wanting her to have some hope.

"'Shouldn't jump to conclusions'?" Veronica repeated, finally looking over at Logan. Her expression was one of anger and disbelief. Logan felt a sinking sensation of knowing that he had said the wrong thing. Instead of reminding her that there was still hope, he had dismissed what she was feeling as an exaggeration.

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded" Logan said hurriedly. Panic was clear in his voice and from the confused look in Veronica's eyes he knew she heard it. "I just don't want you to lose hope" he explained. "You have to remember that there is a chance that it's not true"

"Logan" Veronica whispered, putting her head back on his shoulder. "My parents are still going to divorce" her shattered voice made his heart ache. Veronica had been through so much already, and now her life was crumbling from the foundation. "And if they don't..." her breath shuddered out of her. "How do I respect Keith if he stays with her after this?" she asked, not really expecting an answer.

"You'll still have Keith no matter what" Logan told her simply, making her blink back the newest wave of tears and look at him once more. In her eyes he saw the hope he had been looking for. "And you'll always have me" he continued as he drowned in the blue of her eyes.

"Logan?" she said again, her voice no longer broken, but questioning.

Their faces were close enough that it would only take a shifting of their bodies for their lips to meet. They both knew that and both froze. Their friendship was precious to each, too precious to take this step; too precious to risk it all on a kiss.

Veronica was drowning in guilt. It hadn't been a month since Lily's death; it was way too soon...

The guilt tripled as she realized her thoughts; 'too soon'? There would never be enough time to make kissing Logan okay. He had been the closest thing to Lily's true love and it was too much like stealing him now that she was gone.

Pain splintered through her un-expectantly. She hadn't comprehended, until now what her feelings toward Logan were; and the realization came paired with the knowledge that nothing could ever happen between them. Ignorance had truly been bliss, compared to this sudden yearning.

She looked back out to the water and watched as the waves crashed against the sand. They had sat far enough away to keep dry, but close enough to feel a slight spray from the heartier waves. She let the salty smell of the ocean fill her senses, and tried to block Logan out.

"Veronica?" This time it was Logan whose voice was filled question. She knew his question without him voicing it, because it was the same as hers had been; 'where are they headed?'

* * *

"You're my best friend Logan" she told him. She didn't turn to meet his gaze or expand her answer beyond that. It was enough for him to understand.

Logan felt conflicting emotions at her words. He was ecstatic that she cared enough about him to call him her best friend, especially when her last one had been so special to her. But at the same time he was disappointed. He knew that if they had kissed, their relationship would have changed and possibly ended. He hadn't wanted to take the risk but had wanted her to.

Shame at his cowardice made his cheeks color. He was glad that Veronica wasn't looking at him or she would understand his thoughts completely; it was a talent she had. Even Lily hadn't recognized how sensitive Logan could be sometimes. Only Veronica had seen past the blustery words and jokes to the hurt and embarrassment so often found behind.

Lily. He had to remember her now more than ever. Not only because starting something with her best friend after her death was unthinkable, but because he could never forget that her death was his fault. He wouldn't let something like that happen to Veronica; wouldn't let his family taint her innocence.

Not his sweet little Veronica.


	10. Chapter 10

The dress I describe in the dream part of this chapter, I took from scenes in Season 1. It was what Veronica was wearing at Shelley Pomeroy's party where she was date-raped. I think that she looked really good in it and didn't want to leave it out even if the whole rape thing won't be included. I only altered the choker she was wearing into a ribbon. It suited more with what I was picturing.

CHAPTER 10

The drive was silent. It reminded Veronica of the ride with her mother earlier that afternoon; but with more awkwardness and less anger. She wanted to say something to dispel the mood but couldn't. Anything that would break the silence might also break her control. All she wanted right now was to be in Logan's arms; which was something she couldn't do.

After discovering her deepening attraction to him she wasn't sure what might trigger another attack. She had been crying on Logan's shoulder without incident for a while now, but everything was different now.

She opened her mouth, but closed it again before speaking.

There was nothing to say and everything to say.

The call had come in after half an hour of them sitting silently on the beach. Keith had set up everything at the Camelot and wanted Logan to bring Veronica over so she could take her room key. Keith had to go back to work and didn't want Veronica to have to wait for him later that night. She had her own room, so waiting until later didn't make any sense.

Logan hadn't wanted to take her, but knew that he had no right to ask her to stay with him. Her father was waiting and even if he wasn't, Logan had nowhere to take her. Keith had been right when he had said that it wouldn't seem right for Veronica to sleep over at Logan's house.

* * *

The ride was filled with an awkward silence, and Logan struggled with a way to break it. It wasn't until they were nearly there that Logan finally blurted something out. He didn't want to leave her with things as they were.

"If you need me to stay and sleep with you tonight, I will" he told her in a self-sacrificing tone. Veronica choked out a laugh as she turned disbelieving eyes to him. "And you don't have to worry about sleeping naked" he continued. "I just want you to be comfortable"

Veronica's laughter rang through the interior of his SUV and made Logan smile with pleasure.

Fifteen minutes later Logan was pulling away from the seedy motel, after seeing that Veronica was settled in. He had offered once more to stay, this time seriously and with less nudity. But Veronica had declined again, telling him that he couldn't hold her hand for the rest of her life.

Logan knew she was right; knew she had to be alone sooner or later. But he could have sworn that she had been shaking as she closed the door behind him when he left. The urge to bust back through the door and grab her was strong, but he managed to get into the X-Terra and drive away.

His hands shook on the wheel as he thought of the long night ahead of him and the next day at school without her next to him.

* * *

Veronica held her head in her hands as she sat on the bed. He was gone and she was alone; alone with her thought and worries. He had talked her into having hope that Keith Mars was in fact her father, but the idea of Jake Kane being her biological father still loomed over her head.

Her hand twitched as she stopped herself from phoning Logan and telling him to come back. His offer had broken the awful silence and made her laugh with the absurdity of it, but joke or not, it had tempted her.

Crawling under the covers still dressed, Veronica curled into a ball and willed herself to sleep.

She dreamed of Lily.

_**DREAM**_

_**Lily was laughing at something Logan said to make Veronica blush. They were sitting at their usual lunch table, the rest of the school a colored blur out of Veronica's focus. They were alone when they usually would have been surrounded with other 09ers, and Duncan wasn't there. Veronica didn't notice the lack.**_

_**Logan was wearing his swim trunks, the waist ridding low on his hips. His skin was tanned from the sun and his chest hair arrowed into a line that tapered off down his washboard stomach. His muscles rippled as he moved, his laughter clenching and releasing them rhythmically. His hair was windblown and looked like he had run his fingers through it.**_

_**Lily was the complete opposite. She was wearing her homecoming dress with her hair done up in a fancy style that made her look older and more sophisticated. Her makeup was subtle where her dress was obvious, and her youth coupled with her smile just dripped promise. Her smile was everything that Lily was; teasing, flirtatious and sensual.**_

_**Veronica herself was another contrast. She was wearing a pure white dress that had a fitted bodice that cinched at her waist and flowed down to her knees. Her shoulders were bare, the bodice tight enough to keep it up with only thin straps. There was a light brown ribbon tied at the waist that emphasized how slender she was. **_

_**A part of her recognized it as a dress that Lily had tried to talk her into buying a few months ago. She had called it innocent sex; Veronica made into a dress. Veronica was blushing in her dream as hard as she had when Lily had said that. Her hair hung down to her waist unimpeded, just like she usually left it, and her only accessory was a black ribbon tied into a bow on her neck. The ribbon stood out against the white of the dress and the fairness of Veronica's skin. Veronica had the uncomfortable feeling that she shouldn't be wearing it.**_

_**Logan had mentioned it of course, calling her his tasty little birthday present.**_

_**Lily had only laughed, agreeing that Veronica would be a perfect present for Logan. Veronica didn't see the point of the discussion; it wasn't Logan's birthday yet. But when she told them that they just laughed again.**_

"_**I know that silly" Logan chided her teasingly, his hand reaching out to trail a finger down her cheek. Veronica felt a thrill from his warm skin. From the knowing look in Lily's eyes, the other girl knew what Veronica was experiencing. "I'm not going to unwrap you yet"**_

Veronica came awake with a groan, dream Logan's words making her tingle in uncomfortable places. It seemed like her attraction to Logan had manifested itself into her dreams. She didn't want to think too much about what it all meant; all she wanted was for this heated yearning to go away. And since she didn't plan on satisfying her craving, the only option was trying to ignore it.

She rolled over and tried to go back to sleep; not sure if she wanted to sleep dreamlessly or not.

ENDNOTE: The dream segment is filled with different subconscious things that Veronica is thinking about. I decided not to explain every little bit of it and let you guys figure it out. Was it a good idea? Pleas let me know if some explanation is necessary.


End file.
